The world is a beautiful place today! I forget how much fun it is because I tend to stay holed up wallowing in my unemployed-ness, but today I ventured out and functioned among the masses for a change. The weather was beautiful, people were friendly, and the traffic was tolerable.
Speaking of traffic:
To the man in the white truck with the old school trailer: It was very nice of you to stop in the middle lane so I could turn right even though the guy in the right (my) lane already had it covered & I had even begun my turn, but was it really necessary to honk repeatedly at me and gesture wildly towards the center lane? I mean, we were all stopped because of the red light a few car lengths ahead. So like I said, it was nice of you to stop also, but what you didn't seem to understand was that I did not want (or need) to turn into your lane, as I was just going to hook another right as soon as the light changed. The first time you honked and pointed I smiled and politely pointed back at my own lane to try and convey that I was going that way. The second time you honked/pointed I checked for a stalled car in my intended lane to make sure you weren't giving me some kind of polite friendly-driver heads-up. The third time I thought you were being far too bossy, so I just exchanged a wtf look with the red truck in my own lane. I'm sorry your lane wasn't appealing to me - despite your best efforts to get me to join. It wasn't you. It was me. We were just on different paths in life.
To Whole Foods: Your garlic pesto knots complete me.
To the nice mail carrier who traded lanes with me on the parking lot: Thank you for the car window service mail pick-up.
To the city worker guys with the Ditch Witch (Shout out Littlefield!): It's hot out there, but I want you to know you are appreciated.
To Dr. Cobb: Thank you very much for the supply of free samples! It sucks to be uninsured in the U.S. NHC now!
To Bodhi: I said you could go with me, but you didn't want to, so quit acting like I abandoned you.
To DD: I want my steak dinner and I'm quite confident I earned it.
To Ilonka: So glad to have you back in my life!
To my neighbor who is moving to China in 3 days: I'm so excited for you and can't wait to hear stories of your experiences as an expat!
To iTunes: I'm already a genius so I'm not at all interested in your slow loading recommendations! Also, YES, I do want to continue to receive my podcasts. That's why I subscribed to them and I'll listen to them when I'm damned good and ready. And NO I do not want you to auto delete anything. STOP TRYING TO SECOND GUESS ME!
To Obama: Hang in there - not everyone is an ethnocentric idiot.
To Ethnocentric idiots: SHUT UP!