Life After Lay Off: Week 6
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Random Crap I've Learned While Job Hunting:
1. There are some surprisingly complicated jobs out there that only pay crap and some ridiculously easy ones that pay a huge salary. You will be considered "overqualified" for the latter.
2. The guy who euthanizes the animals at the city shelter only makes $32k a year and is not a veterinarian.
3. It apparently acceptable to expect an Office Manager for a non-profit to, not only have a Master's, but also to work for only $28k a year.
4. It is extremely difficult, though not impossible, to get hired as a public school teacher unless you majored in education. If you majored in an obscure humanities related field it ain't gonna happen at all. Though you can teach at a Junior College with only a BA as long as you're willing to work for peanuts, a PhD in Linguistics does not qualify you to teach English to first graders.
5. The person whose job it is to light some kind of very dangerous drilling related pilot lights in remote locations during subzero temperatures only makes $29k
6. Five years litigation experience makes you a very sought after legal secretary. Four years of the same won't even get you an interview because five years is clearly the magical turning point at which you become qualified.
7. There is no such thing as a secretary any more unless you work for a 1960s ad agency.
8. They really do audit you when you're on unemployment because apparently making 1/5th of your usual salary, being uninsured, and having no reason to get out of bed in the morning is so fun that people are wiling to lie to do it.
9. Being the Children's Literacy Program Director sounds like an awesome job until you find out it will involve driving the bookmobile.
10. One of the great ironies of the universe is that you must have a great credit score to work as a collector.
11. Police officers and firefighters don't make crap.
12. All those "unavailable" caller ID entries you used to come home to are actually bill collectors looking for someone named Joyce.
13. The sunlight across your wooden floors at 2pm is really really pretty.
14. Programmable thermostats don't care if you're home all day and cannot be reprogrammed to cool your house on week days when your lazy ass should be at work.
15. It is possible to break a sweat from worrying.
16. Even though you are completely averse to sports you will still contemplate applying for the position of Stadium Manager. Especially if it does not require 10 key by touch!
17. Your resume is actually no reflection at all of who you really are or what you're capable of doing.
18. House Hunters is on TV all day. Every day.
19. Habitat for Humanity is a Christian organization.
20. Job Hunting sucks worse than the worst job you've ever had.