2.19.2007

All caps = Cujo


How on earth is there anyone out there in this day and age who doesn't know that typing in all caps is wrong?!

It is wrong.

It is a flagrant violation of long-standing netiquette. It is annoying. It is painful to read.

And did I mention it is WRONG?!

See what I did there? I used all caps on the word "wrong" to emphasise it; to make it appear as if I am yelling the word. That's what the caps key is for: Emphasis (well, that and proper nouns.)

It makes me absolutely crazy to receive an e-mail typed in all caps. All lower case bugs too, but I can overlook that. All caps, however, turns me into a sort of Cujo type monster and I want to seek that person out to tell them what a fucking idiot they are.

Sadly, the offender is usually not an extremely educated person. So, can I still get mad at them?

Hell yes I can, because you don't even have to be the sharpest tool in the shed to know that all caps is wrong. It goes beyond just the fact that you are yelling at me. I mean, when you type in all caps you are basically telling me you're ignorant, you want attention, you have no idea how to follow rules and you cannot be bothered to take the time to type an appropriate e-mail. Not only that, but you must not even acknowledge anyone else's posts or e-mails because if you did you would clearly see that typing in caps is not the norm!

Spelling errors bug me too, but again, not to the degree caps do.

Some like-minded blogger once wrote that the Caps Lock key and the Shift key are less than a quarter inch away from each other. So, to not use one or the other and correct your hideous looking e-mail is sheer laziness at its worst. I mean, would it break your finger to just tap one or the other real quick-like?!

There are only two site forums I visit daily. One of them makes me crazy, as there are frequent all-caps posts AND repeated posts asking the same fucking questions. People, please read through at least the day's posts to see if maybe your question has already been answered. Or better yet, read the FAQ. FAQs are incredible things. They are very informative. Honest! I promise!

But no, apparently these people want to jump on the world wide web and start typing their fat lazy fingers off - avoiding the shift key as if it were burning lava and asking their own stupid questions that are probably answered about four posts behind the one they are writing.
Aaaargh!!!!!!!!

The only other thing in my whole life that comes close to enraging me is the global disregard for the fact that "then" and "than" are two different words with two different meanings. They are not interchangeable and you can never have more then or state if, than.

You just cannot. It hurts me when you do.

Woe to the person who e-mails me in all caps AND fucks the then/than thing.

I swear I would end up in the bell tower over that one.

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