All caps = Cujo

How on earth is there anyone out there in this day and age who doesn't know that typing in all caps is wrong?!

It is wrong.

It is a flagrant violation of long-standing netiquette. It is annoying. It is painful to read.

And did I mention it is WRONG?!

See what I did there? I used all caps on the word "wrong" to emphasise it; to make it appear as if I am yelling the word. That's what the caps key is for: Emphasis (well, that and proper nouns.)

It makes me absolutely crazy to receive an e-mail typed in all caps. All lower case bugs too, but I can overlook that. All caps, however, turns me into a sort of Cujo type monster and I want to seek that person out to tell them what a fucking idiot they are.

Sadly, the offender is usually not an extremely educated person. So, can I still get mad at them?

Hell yes I can, because you don't even have to be the sharpest tool in the shed to know that all caps is wrong. It goes beyond just the fact that you are yelling at me. I mean, when you type in all caps you are basically telling me you're ignorant, you want attention, you have no idea how to follow rules and you cannot be bothered to take the time to type an appropriate e-mail. Not only that, but you must not even acknowledge anyone else's posts or e-mails because if you did you would clearly see that typing in caps is not the norm!

Spelling errors bug me too, but again, not to the degree caps do.

Some like-minded blogger once wrote that the Caps Lock key and the Shift key are less than a quarter inch away from each other. So, to not use one or the other and correct your hideous looking e-mail is sheer laziness at its worst. I mean, would it break your finger to just tap one or the other real quick-like?!

There are only two site forums I visit daily. One of them makes me crazy, as there are frequent all-caps posts AND repeated posts asking the same fucking questions. People, please read through at least the day's posts to see if maybe your question has already been answered. Or better yet, read the FAQ. FAQs are incredible things. They are very informative. Honest! I promise!

But no, apparently these people want to jump on the world wide web and start typing their fat lazy fingers off - avoiding the shift key as if it were burning lava and asking their own stupid questions that are probably answered about four posts behind the one they are writing.

The only other thing in my whole life that comes close to enraging me is the global disregard for the fact that "then" and "than" are two different words with two different meanings. They are not interchangeable and you can never have more then or state if, than.

You just cannot. It hurts me when you do.

Woe to the person who e-mails me in all caps AND fucks the then/than thing.

I swear I would end up in the bell tower over that one.


Karma Was Good to Me Today

I had a very nice day today. Good things kept happening to me. They were small things, but I think sometimes it is the little things that make the bigger picture so much nicer. Everyone remembers to be thankful for healthy babies and near misses, but few remember to be grateful for full bellies and coupons.

But back to my day, which was sunny and beautiful for the first time all winter.

I headed first to the car wash and after I paid for my De-Luxe wash the machine spit out 2 bucks in quarters for me. I paid with a credit card, so it's not like this was change for a ten or anything. I briefly considered the Karma on this one. It was not my money after all, but then, whose was it? There was no attendant on duty to return it to, so I went ahead and tossed it in my console.

Then I headed to the grocery store, where upon my arrival a lady was pulling out of the very first spot by the door! Not only that, but as she closed her trunk she asked me if I wanted her to leave the cart for me. Hell yeah! There are never carts available inside this store!

So I did my shopping and headed out to put my own groceries in the trunk. As I was finishing a man and woman walked by and offered to take my cart for me. Yes!

I decided to go through the drive through for some fries and counted out my change to pay. When I got to the window and handed the money to the guy he leaned back out and asked, "Do you have four more pennies?" Apparently I had given him the wrong change. I told him no, but that I did have another quarter. He smiled and said, "Nah, don't worry about the four cents." Not a big deal, by any stretch, but then again, it was, because to me it was an example of a positive human spirit. I would have been far less surprised if he had refused to give me my fries until the four cents was paid, while acting as if I had attempted armed robbery or something.

Anyway, I gave my thanks to the universe for a wonderful day and plan on throwing a couple of bucks in the next donation can I pass. Pay it forward!



He may wear the shirt, but he’s no Superman!

Furry threw himself down the steps at his house and managed to obtain a gash in his forehead deep enough to require stitches. I figure this was part of his ongoing effort to assess our city’s emergency response services.

He arrived at the ER with his panicked parents and was quickly triaged and given a temporary bandage. While they waited for the suture room, Furry blew kisses to an adoring crowd of fellow ER visitors.

Once it was finally his turn, he bravely let them put three stitches in his tiny forehead without complaining. The only thing he did was ask repeatedly (about every 20 seconds) during the procedure, “All done now?”

Once he was “all done” he was released with a follow up appointment to have the stitches removed the following week.

He came to see me the next day, and when I asked if he had hurt his head he shrugged, as if to say “no biggie” and promptly proceeded to try and jump down the stairs.

This kid may be small, but he knows no fear!