6.21.2006

Save the Children! Collect the Whole Set!

Why on earth have we let children become fashion accessories?!

Angelina’s c-section scar is probably not even all scabbed over and already she is talking about how “they” are trying to decide what race and nationality “their” next child will be. (By “they” I guess she means Brad Pitt and the other kids, though I disagree that minors should have a full vote in their parents’ decision to reproduce.)

Give me a freaking break.

Oh sure, she is
Miss United Nations now and all about the children. Whatever. Newsflash Angelina: Babies are neither puppets, nor dolls, and they most certainly shouldn’t be shopped for. I do not care how loving you are or how much money you have or how politically correct you profess to be. You still should NOT be allowed to purchase children.

This is exactly what she is doing. Show me any average American single woman who would be approved to adopt an infant in 2001; then again in 2005; then, after giving birth in 2006, be approved yet again for an international adoption. You cannot. It would not happen for anyone else. But for Angelina it is the same as shopping for an Oscar gown. She does not have to go out and actually “shop.” Many vie for her business and will bring information and product to her home (or hotel room, whichever the case may be.) And when she does choose one? Fame and fortune to the designer who created it. She may even order one in every colour!

Wait. Am I talking about dresses or babies? And when discussing Angelina is there really any difference?

No sense in such a beautiful human as her having to sully themselves with normalcy huh? When Maddox turned out to be such a great accessory and hot topic for photos and interviews it only made sense to double the PR with Zahara.

Then, biology stepped in and like a brilliant merger between Bell and AT&T the Pitt-Jolie offspring was produced. Angels sang, woodland creatures gathered and photographers got rich. The public was rewarded with a new
Messiah – both literally and figuratively.

So why stop now?! That has to be the question on Angelina’s enormous lips! When she was into her “Goth” blood-drinking-Billy-Bob-tattoo phase she amassed tats at much the same rate. Therefore, we KNOW she throws herself wholeheartedly into her passions.

But what happens when the novelty wears off? When Mad and Z and all the rest are too big to carry, and therefore not such photo opportunities any more. When they are in their teens and
”not” looking like everyone else at school (or even in their own family) begins to be a problem. What happens when they want to know their culture and their history and their roots and they really do not want to have to schedule it around shooting schedules and visitation with dad and in between trips to all the other freaking countries mom decided to traffic children from What happens then?!

Remember people, she is not the paragon of traditional family values. She does not speak to her own father, nor is she married to her daughter’s father. She and Brad had procreated before the ink was even dry on his divorce decree. She, herself, is twice divorced, thus demonstrating a pretty serious disregard for the whole commitment thang.

She is merely a single rich American woman without a steady job.

Angelina is high on her own PR right now. Her acting skills are not that good, so she never quite achieved the high level of fame her recent
human trafficking has brought her. And one thing we, as Americans know, is that if one is good and two is better we must buy a dozen!

Angelina believes in saving the children. In fact, She wants to collect the whole set.

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Having limitations on your lifestyle is NOT the same as being poor.