Luck Me

Luck. I have never been a big believer in it. I think everything happens for a reason. I also think we make our own luck.

Take, for example, a happily married couple I know who just celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. Many people told them they were very "lucky to have found each other" and subsequently such happiness. The wife and I were talking about how this was not a compliment.

"We worked very hard to get through some bad times. We almost split up once, but in the end we chose to work it out. It was not always easy, but it has always been worth it," she said. She went on to explain that they both view their relationship as something they maintain. They make it a point to work through the little things. Their successful marriage was bourne of choice, commitment and hard work. Luck had nothing to do with it.

It is like when people tell me how lucky I am to work for such a wonderful employer. I did not just stumble into this job. I have worked a lot of crap jobs in my lifetime. Eventually I got an interview here, and because of my assets and my preparation I got the job. I keep the job because I am good at it. Again, not luck.

Likewise, I am not "lucky" to have an intelligent, kind and well behaved child. He did not just happen to me. I first chose to have the sex that led to the conception of him. While pregnancy was not the desired intention at the time, when it happened I chose to become a mom. I nurtured him in the womb and was conscious of the environment I created to raise him in. I modeled the behaviour I wanted to see reflected back at me. When I fucked up I admitted it. Out loud even. I explained too many things to even begin to list here. Suffice it to say, he is not accidentally the way he is. He has chosen to be so. I may be blessed to be his mother, but it was not "luck" that made me so.

I have learned to "own" every thing that I do. The bad things as well as the good. I think sometimes we are so quick to cry, "Stupid me!" when we fuck up, but we never seem as eager to give our own selves a pat on the back.

Good things do not just happen to "lucky" people. Honest. Life is the result of choices. Often just showing up puts you ahead of the person who could not be bothered to do so. So sometimes, when it seems like pure luck, you need to take a long look in the mirror and give credit where credit is due. You can either make life happen for yourself or you can wait for "luck" to do it for you.

Trust me. Get out of bed. Show up. You will not need luck.