Why you should buy the fundraiser crap my kid is selling:
1. Because most likely, you have, have had, or will have a kid selling crap. Ergo, Karma.
2. Because you remember when you were a kid and you wanted, so badly, to be the one who sold the most.
3. Because you remember how cool it was when you were a kid and your parents hawked your stuff for you at work.
4. Because it really is for a good cause.
5. Because it really is good cookie dough.
6. Because it really is quality wrapping paper.
7. Because it really is good Amish jam.
8. Because you’re nice
9. Because I’m nice
10. Because my kid is cute
11. Because my kid is not cute
12. Because it’s dangerous to go door to door.
13: Because raw cookie dough really does cure the blues.
14: Because you can afford it.
And lastly, reason number 15: Because I bought your kid’s crap.