Okay, so they told me to call for my test results on Tuesday.
Today is Tuesday.
I waited until 10:30 to call. Faye, the nurse, apologized, but said they did not have the results yet and to call back after noon.
I called back at 1:30. Faye apologized again because they did not have the results yet. She suggested I call back after 3:00
I called back at 3:30. Faye apologized for the third time. She did say that Dr. Smith had already left a message for me … AT HOME.
“But I am not at home! I am at work!”
“I am so sorry. I wish I could tell you something, but only the doctor is allowed to discuss results. I’m sure she’ll call you back.”
So it’s about an hour and a half before I can head home. By this time all kinds of crazy thoughts are going through my head because I tend to be a worrier.
When I check the message at home I hear, “Hello, this is Dr. Smith. I am calling to discuss your test results. You can reach me at my office.”
I call the office back and Faye, who recognizes my voice by now, laughed when I told her what the message had said. “I really wish I could tell you something, but I can’t.” She sounded genuinely sorry. By this time it was close to 5:00. “I am sure the doctor will call you back this evening. She has had an extremely busy day and has been overbooked with patients, but she WILL call you back.”
Sooooo…I stayed close to the phone for the next two hours.
I convinced myself they were all stalling in order to give me a few more hours of unburdened life. Eventually, the Doctor would call with the news that I was dying. I was very sure this was what was going to happen, so I set about enjoying my last night alive.
Finally I had forgotten all about it and was deep into watching American Idol when the phone rang. Dr. Smith called me back at 8:30 to tell me the biopsy had shown no malignancies.